Forged in Fire

When you have kids, you can’t help but wonder. You wonder about nearly anything and everything under the sun with regards to the beautiful lives that you helped to bring into this world. Of the billions of thoughts racing through your mind, however, one seems to stand out among the rest, and that is the deep wonder of what/who they will grow up to be. 

Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re constantly wondering what they’ll do for an occupation, or who they’ll marry, or what kind of clothes they wear – though of course those are far from off the table.

But – more of a strong and sincere ponderance about what kind of person they will be. How they will fill their time. What things they will be into. What their relationship with me as their parent be like, and perhaps most importantly – from the perspective of the parent – is what can I do now that will either help or hinder such development to become who I hope for them to become.

What is that exactly? What do we as parents hope that our kids will become?

Strong, courageous, selfless, humorous, caring – stand out, among many other adjectives, that I would love for my children to embody as they grow in this life.

Since having children of my own – now two of them under the age of three – I spend a lot of time thinking about this very thing. 

I think back to my own childhood, as many often do, and ponder on the many things that I once thought I would grow up to be. Most of which never came to fruition, of course; an attorney – nope. A doctor – not quite. A professional athlete – unfortunately not. Over 6 feet tall – hilarious. If you can name it, I’m sure I dreamt it up a time or two along the way.

Many years later, at this stage of my life, I recognize more than ever that I am exactly where I’m intended to be. No, I don’t practice law and I’m a measly 5’10 (on a very good day) but my life has played out exactly how it was supposed to.

And so, that opens the question for our own children. What is it that we think we want them to be? What do they want themselves to be? And how might each of these contrast with what they actually will be?

You see, this very concept is what reignites this feeling and thought process within my own body and really drives home the fact that there’s so much outside of our control so much of our existence is written out for us long before we have the opportunity to make an attempt at willing something into existence. 

It is only natural for us to wish certain things for these humans that we love more than anything. We want them to excel and to live happy lives. We would do anything for this to become a reality. 

But, the fact remains that so little of it is in our hands.

But, the things that are? To teach them the things that must be taught. To lead with a strong set of morals and to stand firm as a constant fixture in their lives. 

To assist, not to push, toward the real truths within this world. Toward the goodness that still remains in a world troubled with negativity. Into adulthood with a rock solid foundation that we helped them to build.

As for who or what they will be? That’s already set out before them, and what a wonderful position we are in to watch it all unfold.

Forge on.

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