Forged in Fire

Recently, I’ve seen an increase in conversation regarding parenthood across social media. This, to me, is an absolute net positive. I read, write, and talk about parenting more than just about anything these days, now that I myself have a young child of my own. 

Parenting and its many intricacies are near top of mind at all times. This continues to increase as some of my closest friends are also welcoming kids of their own into this world.

Throughout human history, we as humans have seen spectacular examples of parents that take on such a role with integrity and intentionality. Whether it be someone you know very well or a public figure or really anyone in between. We can all think of at least one or two.

On the flipside, the harsh reality is, I’m certain that we can drum up plenty of examples of the latter.

Now, I don’t truly know if the cases of parental neglect have increased over the years, or if we simply have more access to the general populace via social media and other connections that weren’t quite so prevalent sometime ago. 

Nevertheless, upon the birth of my daughter, I made it my mission to take on the pursuit of forming myself into the greatest dad that I could possibly be.

In doing so, the past year and a half has opened my eyes to this idea of the key difference/differences between someone who is a father versus someone who fully embodies what it means to be a dad.

In short, anyone can be a father assuming they are physically able. But to be a dad in its fullest form requires a person to invest all that they are into their relationship with their children. Being a father is automatic, right? But being a dad is a conscious choice, where a commitment is made, not just once, but continuously, to nurture, to care and to act as a constant pillar of support in their lives.

So, what does this look like for me? How have I taken the actionable steps necessary to serve my family as more than just father?

There are a few things that I regard as vital in my pursuits as a dad, in no particular order.

1. Presence

Of course, there are moments where things need to be done, duties called, and time has to be spent away from my family. That’s life, right? But, It’s become imperative that I am present (truly present, not just “there”) as often as I possibly can be. As the old saying goes “your children won’t remember the money you spent … only the time.”

2. Fitness

Near the top of my priority list is my physical fitness. Your children deserve a strong, mobile dad who can carry them up to bed, who can roll around on the floor and who can run around the yard playing for hours on end. 

3. Loving their mother

This speaks for itself. Maybe the most important of all on this list.

4. Works

Whether it be community involvement, volunteer work, home improvement projects, lending a helping hand to a friend – you name it. Showing my kids what it means to work hard and to do so selflessly is so important.

5. Vulnerability

One of the greatest ways to foster trust with a child is to level with them, and to open yourself up, instead of living as an emotionless human who barks orders time and time again.

Now, this serves merely as a snapshot of the key elements I’ve employed and highlighted as staples in my growth as a dad. As always, I did my best to keep it short and sweet yet filled with truth and power.

Take into consideration all of it, and reflect on your actions as a parent (yes, mothers too.) 

Where are you on track? What are your pitfalls? How can you make the changes you need to make? When will you make them?

The correct answer to the final question: NOW. Not for you, but for them.

Forge on.

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