Forged in Fire

I’ve gone through a lot of changes in recent years. Specifically, within the past three. In May of 2021, I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree from Iowa State University in Elementary Education with a Minor in Special Education. I had my sights set on a career working as a Special Educator, while coaching the sport of wrestling.

Upon graduation, I locked down what I viewed at the time to be my “dream job” at a large school district in the Des Moines Metropolitan area as a Special Education Teacher and a position on the wrestling coaching staff. 

Soon thereafter, my (then fiance) and I bought a house and got married within the next calendar year. Just under a year later, we brought our first child into this world, beginning our family with our beautiful daughter. 

As time goes on, big changes continue to play out, which I’ll get into eventually.

I’ve gone on and on about this story multiple times, so, I digress.

The reason I bring it up (again) would be because the story of my young adult life and its many parts serve as the catalyst for the standard that I aim to live by as my life currently stands.

What do I mean by this?

To sum it up, I mean that all I’ve been through – the good, the bad and everything in between – in recent years, has greatly affected my views on what I hope to achieve in my time here on earth. What I once thought to be the pinnacle of individual success is no longer the same, in more ways than one.

All this said, what I’ve come to understand and believe wholeheartedly is that my primary goal in life is something which would seem rather mundane and simple to most – a full table. 

As stated so well by an author (whom I quote quite frequently here at Forged in Fire,) Ryan Holiday:

“It’s helpful to sit and really think about what success looks like. When you flash way forward into the future, what is it? You’re not going to think about how much money you made, how great a business you built, how many books or albums or companies you sold…if you’re alone, if your kids won’t answer your call, if your friends won’t have anything to do with you. Success, at the end of your life, is a crowded table—family and friends that want to be around you.”

Such a statement sums up my way(s) of thinking, almost to a T.

My mindset has shifted, along with my priorities (which I’ve touched on before.) The most important thing in these current moments and in all that lies ahead of me is the family that my wife and I are working to build. The love that we get to foster, which in turn will undoubtedly shape the lives that we bring into this world and their understanding of what is most imperative to their existence. 

This is a pretty profound thing, if you really think about it.

Eighteen years is typically all we get with our children, under our roof, under our supervision, and by our side through this journey of life. After that? When they’re “on their own”? How will they remember their childhood? What did you do to promote a healthy, welcoming, and loving home that they will wish to come back to when their life’s decisions are in their hands alone?

As you can tell, this is something that is heavy on my heart and on my mind, at almost all times. Still new to this wide-world of parenting, I’ve made it my mission (and have begun adjusting my lifestyle accordingly) to keep this at the forefront of all that I do. Because, what could possibly be more important? 

Let this serve as a reminder, or as an initial nudge, that our world is messy, and it is full of uncertainty. We as people face bumps in the road, and we stand in the presence of difficult decisions more often than we’d prefer. 

There are long days and longer nights, especially early on as a parent and in the beginning weeks, months and years of a career, all of which I am no stranger to.

Through it all, however, one thing is imperative to bear in mind and it’s the aforementioned questions. How will your kids remember you? Will the home that you’ve built be something that they long to return to? To share more moments with you as they traverse adulthood? We can only hope and work tirelessly throughout these formative years to achieve such a level of success. 

To have a full table, at the end of this life, filled with those who I love most – that’s the dream. 

Forge on.

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