Forged in Fire

What is the driving force behind your actions?

As I reflect on this very question, I can confidently say two things:

1. It can be a loaded question.

and

2. My answer today is different than it would’ve been two years ago, and even different still from two years prior to that. 

Though a complex question to pose, I think it is an important one for us all to consider, regardless of where we stand on the timeline of life.

For me – I’m a new(ish) father. That makes this question easier to answer than for some not in my shoes.

But, does it really?

My upfront answer would be: “My family.”

What specifically with regard to my family? That is the true question here.

“My family” is a blanket statement. What do I mean when I say it? What are the many layers behind or within it? 

In short, the layers are aplenty, and in many ways difficult to put into words. They are feelings that are unique to me and me alone.

The same is likely true for you, I imagine.

Nevertheless, regardless of the complexity, it is absolutely necessary that we as humans, specifically as men, identify what the primary motivator is for doing the things that we do. Come to an agreement with yourself that one thing is the epicenter of many motivators propelling your action on a daily basis.

I use the word necessary, which may spark some questions;

“What about people who have nothing to work for?”

“I know someone who just drifts around aimlessly, and they are still getting by, what about them?”

Both of which are points worth considering. Surely, there are cases in which people feel as though there is no real motive driving them in this life. Maybe they have no family, and any friends they once had are now gone. Goals they had once set are ancient history. I could go on, but you get the picture. 

And so, an example such as this might beg that very question, “How is this necessary, if these folks are continuing to exist in such a way?”

All of which takes me back to a quote that I revisit all too often:

“Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”

How good is that? And how might it highlight the issues we see in society today with the very topic at hand – we as people have been guided to strive for all the wrong things, in all the wrong ways. We are motivated by things that cause us long-term harm, and that wear on our souls in ways that we haven’t yet been equipped to measure.

We chase materialistic things, and we chase fame. We seek validations from voices that don’t truly matter and we allow weight to be held where it is not deserving.

And as a result? We’re left empty and unfulfilled.

Let this lead us back into where I began.

My motivation, and what it is that keeps me “ticking:” My family. My wife and my daughter, and those yet to come. 

The layers: the physical and mental well-being of us all. This directs itself into my ability to protect and to provide, as men have been called to do. My level of capability is a direct reflection of the level(s) of personal development I’m willing to act out. How fit am I? How well-read am I? Do my actions match my words? What kind of work ethic am I demonstrating? Do I attack the day, or does it attack me? 

Everything I do is directly tied to the betterment of my physical and mental health, which in turn directly benefits the well-being of those I love most.

What is it that stands behind the actions you take? Have you thought about it? Perhaps you should.

Identify, plan, act. It’s the only way. 

You forge your own path, and it begins today.

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