Forged in Fire

There is this inner voice, defined as “the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.” In other words: It serves as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.

It can, and surely does provide necessary feedback to the human body. 

In all reality though, doesn’t it just kind of get in the way? Of any REAL progress?

It can (and often does) cause a false sense of morality. It takes an average man (or woman) and inflates their concept of what they’re capable of.

Here’s a perfect example:

I spent nearly 20 years of my life training and competing in the sport of wrestling. One of the most intense, grueling sports known to mankind. A sport that forges resilience and grit unlike anything else I’ve come across.

Now that I’m in my mid-20’s, with a comfortable life and years of wear and tear on my body to serve as a reminder of the blood, sweat and tears (literally) that were shed, it would be – I cannot stress this word enough – REALLY easy to become complacent, and allow my ego to take over.

My mind’s knee-jerk reaction is to lean into it. Into the ego that repeatedly begs for its due.

Instead, I force myself to check it – to put it in its place, before it consumes me.

Each day, for months now, I have wrestled with an 18-year old young man who possesses a level of skill that I could have only ever dreamt of. 

He’s a legit wrestler, and 7 years younger than I am. From time to time, he will make me look and feel as though I’ve never wrestled a day in my life. No exaggeration whatsoever. Any boosted sense of what I am capable of is out the window in these moments – and that’s a beautiful thing.

In these moments, I’m grounded. I’m humbled, and I’m reminded that there is always work to be done.

Now, does this mean that you need to go find someone to embarrass you on a wrestling mat in order to get that inflated ego back to where it belongs? Of course not. There are so many ways to do this – here are a few of mine:

• Read a book on a topic that you’ve never put much thought into.

You begin to think you know it all, and maybe within your subset of interests and areas of study, you know a great deal. That said, you’ll quickly discover that you truly know very little when your scope broadens and you introduce new subjects into your personal education journey.

• Seek out a conversation with someone that you don’t see eye-to-eye with politically, religiously, etc.

It can be hard to hold a conversation with someone you don’t necessarily agree with, especially for someone with a strong ego. How well are you able to listen, and share your thoughts in a respectful and communicable manner?

• Teach yourself a new skill.

Have you ever attempted to DIY something in your home? If you know nothing about plumbing, and you’re faced with the task of replacing a bathtub, that “manly-man” ego will promptly find its way down the drain. (See what I did there?)

• Sign up for a workout class.

Working out on your own is one thing. No one is watching. No one is there to hold you accountable. No one is calling the shots. Give it a try and see for yourself the difference it might make.

• Go for a run in the middle of the night, in the woods.

I think this one speaks for itself.

• Fast.

One of the greatest ways that I’ve found to really put my ego in its place is by intentionally fasting for any period of time – 16 hours, 24 hours, 48 hours, etc. When your body is accustomed to constant intake of tasty food, and you hold that from it for any extended period of time, the effects begin to make their way from the body to the mind and greatly improve your ability to focus and be intentional in all that you do. You’re less concerned by the things that don’t really matter anyways.

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This is just a short list of those at the top of my mind, with many more that are incorporated into my routines.

My advice: find what works for you. Through honest reflection, Identify where you’ve let yourself go, but still act as though you haven’t. What areas of your life need a good sharpening? Be real with yourself. Call it like it is, and put that ego back in its rightful place.

Don’t allow it to take over. Stay present. Stay humble. Stay working.