Forged in Fire

I’m not going to pretend to know what I’m talking about here, like I have all the answers. I’m no psychologist. I do not have the level of expertise necessary to adequately discuss what it takes to truly unlearn bad habits, at least from a technical standpoint that is. 

What I have in spades, however, is lived experience – a load of horrible habits that once controlled my life which are now replaced with a healthier and happier alternative.

Let’s take a look at some examples:

I love(d) soda. Mountain Dew, specifically. 

There was a time in my life, not too long ago, where my diet consisted of bologna sandwiches, Sterzing’s potato chips, and original Mountain Dew. That was it.

I wish I was joking, but I’m serious as can be.

Granted, I had little to no money. I was 20 years old, living a life filled with uncertainty and a bank account fighting to keep its head above water – metaphorically speaking, of course.

Long of the short – I was broke, I was on the fence about my future plans, and treated my body like a trash bag.

Fast forward 4 years, and I’m in a much different place, in more ways than one. I’m well into a steady career, with a loving family, a strong set of priorities and a newfound appreciation for my mental and physical fitness.

Insert – healthier eating and drinking habits. 

I wrote about something very similar several months back, when digging into the topic of burnout in the workplace and beyond. More precisely, discussing the insertion of one thing in place of another. Not removing something in its entirety, but finding a strong alternative.

What might an alternative be, you might ask? There are plenty of options, really, depending on who you ask. But, this is my story, so I’ll share what works for me. 

Black coffee. Folgers Classic Roast, to be exact. Along with sparkling water – Waterloo being my brand of choice. 

I found a couple of things to be true: I enjoy caffeine. When utilized properly, it can be a massive productivity and performance enhancer. Additionally, I love carbonated drinks. 

It seems as though I’ve found the perfect combination, no?

On a daily basis, with a few exceptions of course, water, black coffee, and sparkling water are all that I consume. And, my body thanks me because of it. 

Replace, not remove. Easily applicable to your own life.

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For the heck of it, let’s look at another example, which coincidentally ties into the previous one. In some ways, this was the final straw that caused a full-stop adjustment to my life as a whole.

For years, I sucked at getting out of bed. A 6:00 am alarm clock was a complete and utter fallacy in my mind, nevermind the 4:00 am wakeup calls that are commonplace in my current day-to-day life.

Why was it so hard? Was it because I wasn’t getting enough sleep? Or because my diet was horrible? Both were likely antecedents, to be blunt. 

Nevertheless, my daily schedules were wrecked. I’d wake up minutes before having to sprint out the door to make it elsewhere on time. This, undoubtedly, was a horrible way to kickstart my day.

There was no structure. No discipline.

A recipe for un-reached potential. 

Headed down a road to somewhere in which I had no interest, I pivoted. It was time to wake up, and make a change. 

I reached a breaking point, during which I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t like what I’d become. I was a sloppy version of the man I had always dreamt I’d be. 

I hated the bad habits that had taken over my life. The junk that had become a staple in my daily diet. The late hours spent scrolling aimlessly through social media. The mornings spent sleeping in, letting the day get ahead of me. The lack of self-worth that had invaded every inch of my being. 

What I found was this: it’s all connected.

One bad habit leads to another. The same is true with those that are good. 

My eating habits changed and I got deeper sleep. I fell in love with exercise, and waking before the sun became an opportunity rather than a chore.

A habit is a habit is a habit – be it amazing or horrible.

Each can be unlearned, or, better yet, replaced by something better. A negative behavior stopped in its tracks by one’s ability to take actionable steps in the opposite direction – to discover an alternate path. A path that you can be proud of. 

The hard part of it all is often misunderstood – mistaken as the continuous action of avoiding the bad habit. We believe it to be so unattainable that we don’t even try, that we remain stuck, digging ever-long into an even deeper pit of despair. 

What I’ve come to know is that the most challenging piece of it all isn’t the action as a whole, but the very first step. The first decision to make a change. To replace, rather than remove, and ultimately to unlearn a habit that has taken a stronghold on your life. 

It can be done, and it it should be done.

Make a change. Envision a better version of yourself, and do what it takes to achieve it. You owe it to yourself, and perhaps more importantly, to those who look to you for guidance and stability. 

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