Forged in Fire

Part 3

I exited Badger Creek State Park, in the dark of the night, short of the 100 miles I had set out to cover. I was disappointed, frustrated and confused. After months of diligent preparation, I’d never imagined this outcome. I’d never imagined walking away empty handed.

I’d let myself down. I’d come up short.

But, did the outcome of that September day (truly) leave me empty handed? Or, conversely, was it exactly what I needed?

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The Next Day

I received a text from my good friend and pacer on the day following Booneville 2023. A message that provided exactly what I needed to hear. It read something to this effect:

“We pour a lot into our passions. Don’t overthink it, and just love this life.”

It’s true. I have poured a lot into this hobby of mine. This activity which presents itself as nothing shy of absurd to the majority, but has altered my life for the better. A passion that has grown beyond measure in such a short period of time, and brought me gracefully from my darkest days, to my current place in the world.

I wouldn’t be half of who I am had it not been for running – for this crazy desire to accomplish epic things. A desire which, no doubt, can and clearly has clouded my sense of mortality – the vulnerable nature of the human species. 

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Lesson Learned

I am not bulletproof, nor will I ever be. I’m flawed, and not immune to failure.

To which I say: good.

Things didn’t go my way. A year’s worth of work and obsession funneled into a disastrous outcome. My primary goal had not been attained. Good.

From the ugly, there can and will come some beauty. From the difficult decisions, there will be gained perspective.

There are two sides to every coin. The ying, and the yang. The good and the bad. The splendid and the evil. This world we occupy – it relies on both. The best of us is due, in large part, to the latter that preceded. 

While the disappointment remains, my sails are pointed onward, with a new vision and a hardened mind. As I so often state: onto the next.

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