Forged in Fire

Maintaining fitness in fatherhood

Life gets busy in adulthood, huh? Your to-do list grows, while the time to complete it shrinks. This is true of adulthood alone, never mind the addition of a marriage, home ownership, and the behemoth of it all; parenthood. Each of these require an immense level of time and energy – two things that aren’t exactly provided at a surplus in such a season of life. 

So, the question that reigns is this: how do you fit it all in? How do you maintain a healthy marriage, a beautiful home and raise strong and successful children, while also tending to your own personal needs? – i.e. fitness, mental health, hobbies, etc. 

Last week, I wrote a short piece on the value found in setting an early alarm clock. This is, of course, a tool aimed toward increased productivity and adequate usage of time. To piggy-back off this subject, allow me to expand ever so slightly, to ‘time’ as a whole.

In short, what I’ve learned thus far is that there will never be enough time. We will forever be wishing for more hours in the day. The time to exercise won’t magically present itself. The date night with your partner won’t plan itself. It’s up to you to make the time. You do what it takes to get the workout in, and you prioritize properly to make time with your wife and with your kids – or, you don’t. The choice is yours.

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More, With Less

As I type these words, I am currently in the process of training for my third ultra marathon. Since picking up running in 2020, amidst COVID-19-induced hysteria, I’ve run a solo 50k in June of 2021, and a 100k race in September of 2022. This coming September of 2023, I will be running my first 100 mile race. 

Training for a race of any distance can be incredibly time consuming, if done properly. Here’s why: the most noteworthy reason, of course, is the running itself that is necessary to train for a race – be it a 5k or a 200 mile ultra. Unfortunately, the act of running is the easy piece of this hypothetical puzzle. 

But, what could be more taxing?

To train, and to do so with real intention, there are other factors at play: nutrition, strength training, mobility, planning, and perhaps the king of them all – sleep. Quite the list, no? 

I walked away from my 100 kilometer finish, just under one calendar year ago, with one primary takeaway – it being that if I had aspirations to run 100+ miles (which, of course, I did,) I would need to do more. I would need to hone in on what was important, and let go of the remainder. 

With steadfast focus and attention to detail, I knew that it could be done – as it has been so many times before me.

To reference Greek Stoic, Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations”:

“Concentrate every minute like a Roman – like a man – on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can – if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this, that’s all even the gods can ask of you.”

Stew on that passage, for as long as necessary.

Sure, I’ve set out to do something seemingly unattainable to most. Sure, I’m attempting to do “more” with “less” time. And sure, you may still find it impossible, from your stance in this life. Impossible to better yourself. Impossible to pick up that dream which was lost in years past. Impossible to achieve what you were placed on this planet to attain. 

I’m here to tell you, with the added assurance via words from the wisest man this earth has ever known, that you absolutely can. You can reach those lofty goals. You can lose the weight that causes you to be self-conscious and earn that degree you’ve set your sights upon. You can maintain supreme physical and mental fitness within a marriage and amidst the busy seasons of life associated with raising children. 

This can all be done, and will be done, by those who choose. Those who choose to make the time, and to use it wisely. Those who understand that the time won’t make itself – those who, as so brilliantly stated by Marcus Aurelius, are willing to part ways with all other distractions. 

Let go. Let go of what is weighing you down. Let go of whatever isn’t imperative to your existence. Let go of these things, and make the time for what is.