Photo: Guider, Nicola Cronin
What exactly do I mean by friction? Specifically, what could I possibly mean by “reducing friction”?
Quite frankly – both are good questions. Questions I would’ve likely asked, not too long ago.
I recently listened to an outstanding podcast hosted by Tim Ferris, holding conversation with James Clear, the author of perhaps one of the most profound books I’ve read recently, “Atomic Habits.” Throughout this podcast and throughout James’ book, a recurring word was – as you can probably guess, friction.
In short, the act of reducing friction in one’s life is to set up your surroundings in order to make finding and holding onto strong/positive habits a much more straightforward task. This is something that I briefly alluded to in my most recent post, titled “More Than A Long Run” which details the mental and physical benefits that I’ve associated with distance running.
In this article, my intention is to extrapolate upon this topic, unpack some thoughts of my own as well as some information I’ve acquired through various pieces of literature over time.
Where to start?
The all important question. “Where/how do I begin? I have so many things holding me back from achieving my desired level of ____ ” (you fill in the blank.) Examples may include, but certainly are not limited to; fitness, productivity, financial freedom, etc.
My answer to this question: I don’t know. That is for you to decide.
So many self-help books that you’ll find lining the shelves of your local bookstore (or the one that you’ve had in your amazon cart for 6 months – you know the one) will provide “the must-follow steps to financial freedom” or “the fool-proof plan to drop 50 pounds.”
I’m not a “self-help guru” – so, I’m not going to bore you with the cliche, seldom effective strategies you’ll find in such books.
While these books house loads of valuable information – what works for one, does not work for all. Hence the reason that some people thrive on a vegan diet, while others much prefer paleo, and some the carnivore – see where I’m going with this?
Before any action can truly be taken, you need to perform an audit on your own behaviors, habits and routines to decide what needs to be improved, and what needs to go entirely.
Once this audit is complete, and you’ve identified which habits you would like to increase along with those you’d like to decrease (or eliminate entirely) it’s time to identify what may be limiting yourself from doing so. As James Clear states, “When you master the habits of preparation, habits of execution become easy.”
So, for a moment, let’s take a look at some roadblocks that we will encounter and how to prepare accordingly.
Excuses/Outside Factors
The most undeniable hurdle in attempting to better ourselves is an excuse – or, in most cases, excuses. After all, they almost never present themselves in solitude, but rather multiply as time progresses. Our job is to locate the possibility of excuses before they are given an opportunity to manifest and turn them on themselves. This is the act of priming your environment.
Let’s, for a moment, take a look at some of the most frequent excuses I’ve heard from athletes, peers, and coworkers alike:
- “Not enough time.”
There is always time. What we lack is perception, and the ability to prioritize, not the time.
I will dive into this one a bit more shortly.
- “Too expensive.”
No matter the activity, this is something I hear constantly.
For the sake of familiarity, I’ll use running as an example. Sure, at this point in my running journey, I do have some change invested in running gear. Things I’ve acquired over the years, and higher quality items that I can justify due to the volume of use they will receive. That being said, when I started this hobby, I invested about $120 on a pair of HOKA Clifton 6’s, and that’s it. That investment lasted me roughly 400 miles and changed my life forever – that statement alone makes the investment seem worthwhile, no?
Additionally, consider some expenses in your life that aren’t entirely necessary. Furthermore, some expenses that are maybe even hindering your physical and mental health, rather than improving it, (tobacco, nicotine, alcohol, video games, etc.) If these are within your budget, the “too expensive” excuse is empty as a drum.
- “My body hurts.”
Mine too.
That said, I hurt much worse prior to choosing to prioritize my health and fitness levels. I dive into the physical benefits of running specifically, in my most recent post.
- “I just don’t like it.”
I hated to run, not too long ago. Now, running means the world to me – literally. How does that work? How did I flip my hate for running on its head?
It wasn’t immediate – which seems to be a major hindrance for most of the general population. In a world of immediate satisfaction and gratification provided through the use of social media, we struggle with the idea of being persistent. The act of working for something has become foreign to the great majority.
The truth of the matter is this: the love didn’t come without the work. This is true with any activity or line of work. You will develop a love for it when you buy-in. A full buy-in. Only then can you appreciate something for all that it is, due to all that you pour into it. You take pride in what it is and most importantly what it can and will become.
Addressing the all-too-familiar “not enough time” excuse – inevitably, life happens. Things come up and things get in the way. You get busy. I get busy too. This is where time management and a sound list of priorities come into play. It becomes not a matter of finding the time, but making it. Once again, priming your environment.
Making habits and routines simple
I’ve conjured up a few solid examples of what it means to prime your environment, the first of which is so incredibly simple.
My wife and I are currently in a stage of our life where we have recently received many gifts – a wedding shower, wedding, baby shower, baby, all within this past year. We both place a great level of value on sending handwritten thank you cards to each person who is generous enough to provide us with a gift. This is an important action to take in my opinion, but, admittedly, easy to put-off. Even easier to put off if there are no thank you cards in your home.
Picture this scenario, if you will: You scavenge through the house to find a thank-you card or two, to no avail. This would require you to get in the car, drive to the nearest convenient store, and purchase the necessary quantity of thank you cards.
While you are out at the store, you begin to feel quite hungry – luckily for you, there is a Taco John’s right across the road. Nothing a 6-pack and a pound shouldn’t fix. Now that you’ve scarfed down several thousand calories, you’re ready to head home and knock out those thank-you cards.
Uh-oh.
As you pull into the driveway, your stomach makes you quite aware that you shouldn’t have just ingested such a colossal amount of junk. Now you’re on the couch, wallowing in your refried bean-induced misery – certainly in no shape to get started on those thank-you cards that need written.
They can wait until tomorrow, no big deal.
Tomorrow comes, it’s Saturday, and the slate of College Football games is the strongest it’s been in three seasons. Your friends are having company over to enjoy some drinks and grub to take in the games together. Sounds like a good time.
But – the cards, you’ve completely forgotten about the cards. You think to yourself, “today isn’t the right day to get those cards done anyways, I won’t give them their due diligence. I’ll get to them tomorrow.”
It’s now Sunday morning, the clock reads 10:05 am. You’re just now coming-to for the day. Your head is throbbing from the festivities the day prior. The last thing on your mind is the thank-you cards. As a matter of fact, you’ve forgotten about them entirely in your hungover stupor.
Another week goes by before the thought crosses your mind once more, will they now become a priority? Time will tell.
Sure, you may have just read that scenario and quickly labeled it as “extreme” or immediately assured yourself “that would never happen to me.” While both are likely the case for some, they certainly are not for most. I’ll be the first to admit, that very scenario could have been the way in which I live my life, had I made just a few altered decisions, taken a slightly different path in this life.
Now, back to real life, or at least my real life.
My wife, at all times, (literally) keeps a stack of about 100 thank-you cards on hand. We (she) orders them in bulk from Amazon whenever our stockpile is running low. In an instance where we receive a gift, before the gift is even put to use, we grab a thank-you card from the office, write it out, address the envelope, and send it out that day. Done deal. It’s become a routine.
Which scenario seems most time and cost-effective?
That is the most simplified, yet immensely practical example that I’ve discovered to date. Though there are many other ways by which I prime my environment to ensure my own follow through of the routines and habits I’ve set in place, I will provide only a few for the sake of time:
- Laying out my clothes the night before. Particularly the night before a really early morning run/workout. Clothes laid out in a separate room, shoes and gear by the door, nutrition prepped and ready to go.
- The use of a planner/calendar app. I utilize both a physical planner, and a calendar app that is synched to all forms of tech that I own and use daily. This assists me in visualizing the week’s commitments, and prioritizing them accordingly.
- Absence of junk food. It is no secret that I love some junk food occasionally – particularly a package of oreos or pringles. So much so that if I open a container of either, it’s not likely that they make it to see another day. To combat this act of indulgence, I keep them out of the house, with few exceptions. In return, I rarely even think about the processed junk.
- Do not disturb. In the age of social media and technical advancement galore, the rectangular piece of tech in your pocket is becoming increasingly addictive by the day. It’s not necessarily easy to put it down, once you’re locked in. I’ve been a victim of its stronghold many times myself. Due to the obsessive traits that seem to surface when presented with the wide world of social media, I’ve found great use in placing the phone on “do not disturb” throughout the day. Particularly: first thing in the morning, while writing or reading, during an activity with my family (movie, date night, board game, etc.) and all night while sleeping.
This brief list covers the core areas in which I place a good majority of my focus.
“Every action you take is a vote toward the person you wish to become.”
– James Clear
I recognized, through a personal audit of my own habits and routines (good and bad) that I used unpreparedness as an excuse to forgo exercise, I was extremely unproductive and easily distracted and I housed unnecessary body fat and toxic eating habits that would inevitably lead to health complications in years to come.
Enter the utilization of the aforementioned environment and routine changes.
Without structure and intentional preparation, no routine will take hold. You will continuously find yourself in a vicious cycle of highs and lows. Healthy diets and fast-food benders, productivity and laziness, sobriety and relapse – up and down for as long as this life will allow.
As one of my all-time favorite quotes reads: “The first step is the hardest – making a commitment to yourself, for yourself.”
Replace, not remove
To summarize the flood of thoughts that I just spewed out – in order to make a change, you must first be honest with yourself. Diligently comb through your daily habits and routines, identify the good, the bad and the ugly.
Understand that if you attempt to cut out a bad habit in its entirety, without a replacement behavior, the likelihood of success is staggeringly low, and the chances of reverting to said habit is quite high. As it turns out, the cold-turkey approach isn’t so effective – is anyone surprised?
Upon identifying my unwanted habits and shortcomings in my daily life, I have worked to reduce friction by replacing behaviors with different behaviors (as alluded to previously.) Each day serves as a new opportunity to develop stronger habits, while still cautiously awaiting the emergence of bad ones. This awareness, and continued attention to detail has provided a level of clarity in my personal life with family and friends, work life with colleagues and other daily commitments such as fitness and personal education.
My hope is that at the very least, a sliver of this article has provided some level of guidance and drive toward reducing the friction in your life that may be holding you back from your desired level of ___. (Once again, you fill in the blank)
There is no better time than the here and now to take the first step into action – and the fear of the unknown that lay beyond that first step? That’s the beauty of personal development. The limit for what you can and will become lay entirely in your hands, in the choices you make – so, choose to take the step.
Forged in Fire 
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